is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
you inspire me to be a worse person
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize