sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
