It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
