He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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