If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize