It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
