i don't like sucking hair
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
