Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
