Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
