mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
