ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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