There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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