The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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