Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We have started to decorate penises.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
