My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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