what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
