so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You're a waste of cheezeits
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
