I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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