The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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