she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
