you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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