So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
