I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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