I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
