how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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