no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize