its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
