I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
