I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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