I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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