I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
