His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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