You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
