I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Drunk is a universal language darling
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
