The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
