that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
