Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I woke up under a house in Key West
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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