Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
