and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
These tits shall not be calmed
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize