Apparently you make a good broom.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
