you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize