You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize