I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
