i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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