are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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