We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
