Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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