420 ftw
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
