yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
