Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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