Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize