just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
