Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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