you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
