Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
