Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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