ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
