we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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