Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
