yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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