Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
