he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
