is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize