But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
