with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
