it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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