Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
