oh god the rape fog is back!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
