Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
