i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
