JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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