if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
