4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
